


This Year, I'll Give It to Someone Special

by uragaaru



Category: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Bigender Ranma, Bisexual Akane and Ranma, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, F/F, F/M, Japanese Christmas, Karaoke, Ranma 1/2 Secret Santa Exchange 2018, Socialism, WAFF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 09:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16992219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uragaaru/pseuds/uragaaru
Summary: Ranma is goaded into making sudden Christmas plans with Akane in order to both impress her and show her who is Christmas boss! However, the perfect Christmas date requires more than a few steps, especially in this part of Tokyo.





	This Year, I'll Give It to Someone Special

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ryoga2013](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryoga2013/gifts).



Ranma was enveloped in a sea of warmth, his favorite sensation since Jusenkyou. It was especially welcome this late in December. Classes had let out for the winter break and, with nothing else to do on a lazy day, he was asleep at home with his legs underneath the toasty warm kotatsu. He was dreaming of beating up his rivals and eating mounds and mounds of anpan when he was awoken by something hitting his nose.

"Ow!~ uhm... wha?" Ranma blinked open his eyes.  He saw Akane over him, in tight leggings, a shirt, and a oversized cream-colored sweater. In her hand was a tangerine, one of a pile of many that were in a bowl on the table. She dangled it over Ranma's head.

Ranma rubbed his eyes. "Whad'ya do that for?" he asked as he sat up.

Akane sat down on Ranma's left, putting her legs under the kotatsu. "I was out running errands in the cold and I come back to see you cat-napping. Seeing you sleep so soundly in the middle of the day is annoying. You're so much fun to tease, you know."

Ranma pouted as he leaned over and picked up the tangerine that fell on his face. "You're so uncute," he muttered as he peeled the fruit while glaring at Akane. For her part, she gave him a smile and stuck her tongue out at him.

Ranma couldn't help but smile a little, despite his annoyance. "So what were ya doin' anyway?"

Akane thought for a second, "Oh, I was at the shopping district looking for things to get Daddy, Kasumi, and Nabiki for Christmas. I mean, I don't have to, but since we're not doing a party this year, I thought it would be nice.”

Ranma gave Akane a silly grin. "Did'ya get me anything, too?" he asked as he plopped the whole peeled tangerine in his mouth.

"Hah! What are you, six years old? Why should I get _you_ anything? Did _you_ get me a Christmas present, Ranma?"

Ranma grabbed at his throat, his face turned red and, after slowly choking down the tangerine, coughed loudly for a while before regaining his composure. "Um, well..." He thought for a moment them after a few beats, replied, "Yes! Yes I did."

Akane narrowed her eyes, "You're lying to me, aren't you."

"No! 'course not! I wouldn't lie 'bout that!" Ranma lied, like a liar. "I got you a present and it's a totally kickass one that's like super thoughtful and stuff. So yeah!"

Akane smiled, "Oh? Well maaaaybe, today is Christmas... " Akane drew out the words, trying to sound challenging, "...maybe then we could go out together tonight then and you can give me my present? I can't wait," She gave Ranma a smirk and a nod of her head.

Ranma stood from the kotatsu, jamming a thumb against himself, "May-maybe I will! And it will be awesome and romantic and you're gonna regret ever doubting I could sweep you off your feet anytime I wanted to!"

"Fine then! I'd like to see you try!"

"Good." Ranma said firmly. "I'm Ranma Saotome. You're gonna regret the day you challenged me to a date!" Ranma turned and stomped off to the genkan to get his coat and shoes before he left.

Akane sat there, fuming for a few moments.  "That jerk, thinking he could ask me out on a Christmas date and I'd fawn all over him like 'oh my sweet Ranma, honey' or 'airen lover Christmas time' or something like that. He doesn't even have a date planned I bet! He probably went out to..." Akane slowed down her rambling. She suddenly felt warm and wondered if the heater of the kotatsu was set too high.  She shook her head.

"No way that jerk has anything planned. It certainly _won't be_ romantic!"  Akane huffed, before looking into her purse to check her wallet and how much she had left to spend.

Outside of the Tendo Home, Ranma's face was flushed. To a casual observer it looked like his face was naturally reacting to the below-zero conditions, but he didn't notice as he was thinking. Ranma let his train of thought speed up passing by mental stations and causing neural passengers to get crushed as he walked.

_Stupid uncute Akane! As if she'd know a romantic date if it hit her in the face with a dead fish! I got this. Christmas right? Like there' probably lots of things you can... can..._

Ranma could feel his heart thump.

 _Oh who am I kiddin'? Dammit, you moron, you always do this shit!_ "I got no damn clue what ya do on Christmas with a girl!" Ranma moaned.

"Well, duh," a voice said behind him. Ranma turned around and saw Nabiki.

"What the hell're ya doin’, Nabiki? Ya ain't followin' me, are you?"

"...I have a life that doesn’t revolve around you. I'm not like Akane or any of your concubines."

"They're not—"

"But seriously, you turn into a girl, yet you have no clue how to handle a girl like a normal human being," She rolled her eyes and laughed. "It'd be sad if it wasn’t so profitable."

"Hey! If I wanted ta get insulted, I... coulda stayed home."

Nabiki shook her head, wiping a tear from her laughter. "So what bug's crawled up your butt today and should I worry for my baby sister?"

Ranma crossed his arms, "No way! You'll find some way of making me pay for it."

"Puh-leeese, Saotome. You're an open ledger. C'mon, I'll only extort it out of you anyway..."

Ranma glared at Nabiki, puffing out his cheeks, which made Nabiki laugh more.

"Oh my god, you're doing that thing I thought you only did as..." she raised her hands in protest. "Okay, Ranma. How about this? I'll help you, free of charge," Nabiki said. When Ranma raised an eye suspiciously, she added, "It's a Christmas gift, okay? Tell you what, you do a small favor for me and I'll pay you 10,000 yen for your trouble. You can go on a nice date and get a present for Akane with that, eh?" Nabiki smiled as she saw Ranma's arms loosen up and he gained a far off dreamy expression.

"Really? I—um, I mean, I wasn't gonna do anythin' for that macho girl! Who'd wanna give her a present or go out with her ta karaoke anyway?"

"Karaoke? Cliché, but I can see it," Nabiki added.

"No! I ain't gonna do anythin' like that with."

"Well, that's a shame. Here I was willing to leverage all of my resources for you for once and I guess it's just a waste then if you're not taking my baby sister on a da—"

"Wait! Wait! I... whaddaya want me ta do, anyway?"

Nabiki beamed. She beckoned Ranma closer with a hand, "Come with me, Ranma. Let's sort out the paperwork...."

* * *

 

Ranma wasn't surprised that the first thing Nabiki did was get some cold water. After all, if Nabiki had an angle, there was a good chance some curse-based shenanigans were involved.

Ranma had also expected the skimpy and outlandish outfit. It was a white string bikini, cut small and in a manner such as to push up and highlight Ranma's already ample chest. The bikini was then loosely covered up by broad gold-trimmed red and green ribbons that wrapped around Ranma in a criss-cross pattern and met in a large frilly bow just under her cleavage. Atop Ranma's red hair was a similarly red hat with white fur trim and soft green shoes with little bells at the toes.

Ranma was confused about the pointy ears, however.

"What the hell is this getup, Nabiki?" Ranma asked as she stepped out of the stall of the women's bathroom Nabiki had taken her into. They were on the 6th floor of an otherwise nondescript office building along the main drag near Nerima Station.

Nabiki chuckled,"I think it's rather obvious, Ranma dear. I'm hiring you out to play one of Santa's elves for the day."

Ranma looked down at her outfit again, noticing she was showing a large amount of skin for December and for anything Santa-related.

"I think Santa's elves get more clothes. And're less stacked in front."

Nabiki nodded, "Oh sure, but there are a few end of year office parties who asked Santa Nabiki for 'some special holiday cheer' using tens of thousands of yen and you're 18 so... I get to save Christmas." She gave Ranma a wry smile as she patted Ranma on the head and adjusted her ears.

Ranma gulped. "They ain't gonna get handsy or nothin', are they?"

Nabiki shook her head, "I trust them to not do much more than ogle and drool. That said, if anyone decides to get fresh, you have _carte blanche_ to make them regret it."

Ranma smirked, "dunno what 'carrot blush' is, but if you mean I can kick their asses, I'll do it."

Nabiki gave her nascent employee a thumbs up. "That's the spirit. Good to know that under that coquettish figure lies a violent maniac," Nabiki sighed, "I suppose that's why my sister is so taken by you." She looked at Ranma's backside and adjusted some of the ribbons, "that and the junk in the trunk," Nabiki muttered as she and Ranma left the bathroom.

As they got to the door, Ranma took in a breath, "Okay so what, just parade around some salarymen as they ogle a girl old enough to be some of 'em's kid?"

Nabiki shook her head. "Oh no. The Section Manager has a sack of 'presents' you'll be handing out. You know typical old man stuff, bonuses, whiskey, yadda yadda. Just be cute and you should be fine."

Ranma nodded, "Okay, that seems doable." she held up a hand to Nabiki. "Gimme a sec."

Nabiki watched as Ranma closed her eyes and took a few long breaths. Each time Ranma's posture and demeanor seemed to relax a little. After a beat she paused and, like someone had turned a lamp on, Ranma opened her baby blue eyes wide and began beaming a smile that was half vamp, half beauty queen.

"Let's do this, Nabiki. Can't keep the crowd waiting, right?" Ranma asked in the higher register of her voice, punctuating it with a light, impish laugh. Nabiki wondered for a moment if Ranma was, in a roundabout manner, railing against the situation, but decided she was too naive for it.

Inside of Nakayama Import-Export LLC, there was a bullpen of about 30 employees. The majority of them were men between the ages of 30 and 60, all in similar gray suits. Nabiki spotted a few OLs milling about, a few annoyed or even enraged at her probably sister in-law while the others seemed, if anything, relieved. Nabiki led Ranma to Mr. Nakayama himself, a portly gentleman probably in his mid-50s who had the smile of Hotei and the hairline of a 1970s Mao Zedong. His face was flushed red and, after about fifteen seconds it was clear to Ranma and Nabiki he was at least one and a half sheets to the wind.

"Ah, Tendo! You made it after all," Nakayama said with a cheery bluster, "I was afraid you were going to back out at the last minute and I'd have to have my assistant Teruko do the present delivery." At that, Nabiki heard a voice moan, 'uggggh. That's it, I'm quitting this shit job'. I got more respect as a hostess.' "

Nabiki affected a modest voice and waved him off. "Oh, no no no, Nakayama. You know that 'Santa Nabiki' wouldn't disappoint. You've been a big help this year and it's my turn to repay the favor in own my inimitable fashion."  She cheekily patted Ranma on the tush.

"Oh perfect! The fellas will just love this."

Ranma gave a slightly dumb smile and laugh at Nakayama before turning back and glaring at Nabiki, "Oh... I _love to help_ , Mister..." Ranma said icily.

"Perfect! You can grab my sack."

"What!?" Ranma let out a shriek before she notice Mr. Nakayama holding a large red velvet lined pouch. "Oh," Ranma replied before taking it and, with a cheeky smile walked out into the sales bullpen to hand out gifts.

Ranma bounded around on her tiptoes, trying to affect an elfin lightness. She opened the sack and pulled out a wrapped box.

"Oh, is there someone named..., "She looked at the name card on the present, "Masami Kondo?"

A tall, slender man in his mid-thirties piped up and he slicked his thinning hair back before raising his hand. Ranma skipped towards him and smiled, "Merry Christmas..." Ranma said with a smile as she gave him the present, looking up at the recipient. It didn't escape Ranma's notice that he was focused on her chest as he grabbed the present and opened it up. Masami revealed a bottle of 15-year old 110 proof whiskey.

"Hey! Nice! Thanks, cutie!"

Ranma let out a another cute giggle. _Ugh, god I can feel myself drowning in the perviness. It's worse than when the showers in the locker room ran outta hot water and Hiro n' Dai hadta stop me from killin' every third year guy in Furinkan High._

Ranma read off presents. An man in his fifties got a cigar lighter, another a knife set, and for the first ten people or so, they got similar gifts. Ranma got into the rhythm of his, naming  someone, showing off her figure a bit, and giving the gift. Then she ran out of boxes and had cards.

"Nobu Takahashi?" Ranma called out. A man in his late 20s, with hair and glasses that made Ranma think he was a distant cousin to Dr. Tofu, raised his hand. With a big smile and an eyebrow waggle, Ranma handed him the card and watched as he opened it.

"Oh?" The man asked aloud, "What's it say...'Take a hike, 'four eyes'? 'You're fired'!?" he yelled in shock. Ranma gulped and said, "Oh, that's... fuck," Ranma blurted out.

he looked into the bag: there were about 20 more such cards. She tugged at her non-existent collar. "Oh boy..."

Ranma, with less spring in her step began handing out the rest of the cards, the mood in the office shifting from holiday cheer to the dread of the gallows.

By the time Ranma was ending her grim task, she figured half of the employees had been fired.

Ranma took the last card.

"Hiromi Kurano?"

A hand raised. Ranma saw a woman in her early 40s, in a well-tailored but severe gray pantsuit. Her face was not amused at all.  Ranma slowly walked over, past crying and wailing male employees.

Ranma handed Hiromi the card. "S-Sorry 'bout this..." Ranma said in a small voice.

"Oh honey," the older woman shook her head as she opened the card.

With as much bile as she could muster, she read the card aloud: " 'You're Fired. Tough titties, sweetcheeks. Next time, put on a little more makeup and smile more and you'll get more sales.' Ahhh... welp. That's it." Hiromi took a breath before opening the top drawer of her desk and pulling out a half-drunk bottle of cognac. She opened it, took a long quaff emptying the bottle, and then, with a violent swing, broke the bottle at the handle."

"He can't get away with this! The patriarchal bastard! Let's string him up!"

There was a moment of shocked silence as her co-workers looked at her, mouths agape.

"Come on! The only thing we have to lose is our chains! Who's with me?"

"But our jobs..." One of the employees holding a bottle of whiskey said weakly. Nobu grabbed the bottle from his hand and tore off his shirt sleeve, stuffing it down the bottle. With another man's cigar lighter, he lit the Molotov cocktail.

"Revolution, now!!!!" Nobu yelled, tossing the bottle through the window of Mr. Nakayama's corner office.

Ranma and Nabiki slowly walked backwards, slinking away from the growing chaos and out the door as Nakayama Import-Export LLC began to rapidly burn to the ground.

 

* * *

 

 

"Well that was a bust," Ranma said as they walked out of the building, ignoring the growing fire engine, ambulance, and police sirens.

Nabiki shrugged. " Sigh... I kept telling them, laissez-faire isn't the way to properly exploit workers. You gotta go _full neoliberalism_ so the rubes think they want to be exploited!" She slammed a fist against her palm. "They'll eat out of your hand just for the promise of 'exposure'!"

"What?"

Nabiki patted Ranma's head. "Don't worry about that, dear sister in-law. It'll be the last time anyone fucks with me on a property deal."

"Wha-what!?"

"Oh come off it, you'll be Akane's wife before too long."

"That's not wha—Hey! I'm a guy, ya know."

Nabiki looked down, as thought pointing out Ranma's current state of dress with her eyes. "Of course, how could I forget? Well, little brother, I do have to settle up with you." Nabiki reached into her bra. Ranma's eyes widened and she gasped as Nabiki pulled out a wad of bills.

Nabiki chuckled and closed Ranma's mouth for her, "Oh, you'll catch flies that way, dear." She counted out a few bills, "Don't be too shocked, I always keep my 'play money' close to my chest. You certain have enough room to stash gold bars in your cleavage. Imagine if you wore a bra."

Ranma's face twisted. "As soon as I'm out of this getup, I'm getting hot water.”

Nabiki rolled her eyes, "Honestly, if you kept that on, you won’t even need to take Akane out. You could be her present just like that."

Ranma groaned, "Stop kiddin' 'round Nabiki. Ya know 'kane ain't inta that sorta thing!" Ranma shook her head and missed Nabiki raising an eyebrow.

"Of course not. This has _no_ appeal whatsoever to my dear baby butch sister..." Nabiki said flatly as she handed the money over to Ranma. "Here you go, 10,000 yen and, because it's the holidays, an extra 5,000 for hazard pay."

Ranma looked surprised as she pocketed the money inside her string bikini, "Gee... that's actually kinda nice a ya. Thanks, Nabs."

"Happy Holidays, Ranma." Nabiki smiled warmly, "Now! Santa Nabiki has a few more places to visit. The OTB for one. I got an inside angle on a trifecta..."

"What?" Ranma asked, but Nabiki had already walked away, giving Ranma a goodbye wave.

Ranma stood there confused for a moment before the wind kicked up and she started feeling cold.

"Ah, dammit, where the hell did Nabiki put my clothes!?" She looked around frantically, her eyes returning to the now ablaze office building. "Ah crap! I left my clothes in the bathroom!" Ranma screeched so loudly, the sound echoed across downtown Toyotamakita.

"Naaaabikiiiiiii~!"

 

* * *

 

 

Ranma landed in the middle of a shopping district with a thump, having jumped down from the skyscrapers which dotted the above ground trainlines near Nerima Station. After she got her bearings, she could hear the incessant sleighbells signaling that _Last Christmas_ by Wham! was playing across several stores. She started looking around, muttering to herself.

"Okay, what do regular folks do for Christmas?"

Ranma saw an advertisement for Christmas cake, frosted white with whipped cream and topped with strawberries and powdered sugar suggesting snow.

"Okay, that looks good. Akane n' I like sweets."

Another store prominently advertised "Turkey Kara-Age, special Christmas treat for two!"

Ranma noticed she was drooling slightly and her stomach rumbled. "Okay food's taken care of... but I gotta think of somethin' special fer Akane..." Ranma sighed. "What should I even get."

"Well, you little trollop, may I suggest some clothes!" an middle aged, fussy looking obatarian yelled at her. Ranma looked down and remembered she was still clad in that ill-fated "sexy elf" costume. She had the sense to look embarrassed at the old woman and she wandered off to find a coat.

One double-breasted wool jacket later, Ranma felt a bit like a flasher, but she was a bit toastier and received marginally fewer stares.  She ran to the bakery to find a christmas cake.

"Miss, you needed to reserve one at least a week in advance...."

"Damn,"

"Wait, I think I got an extra one... oh, it's the _Kenta_.."

"Kenta?"

"Oh, my son dented the top with his elbow. It's not really worth selling though and—"

"I'll take it!"

The woman froze, "Are you sure, miss?"

"Yeah. I can eat the dented part. Akane won't mind."

The woman shrugged, "Okay by me." She packed the cake, which true to the description, had an indentation on one side that squished the top layer down, into a small white box.

"Awesome! Thanks, ma'am." Ranma said, grabbing a bill from her bikini top inside her jacket and paid her before running off.

She rounded the corner and found a fried food stand, with a tall statue of a chicken in an apron and a Santa hat happily clucking by the door. Ranma saw the clerk walk to lock the door from the inside and, with a burst of ki, she rushed the door opening it before he could get there.

The man blink and stared at Ranma, yelling, "Lady! We're closing for the night!"

"Aww c'mon, look uh..." Ranma parted the top of her coat, revealing how little she was wearing underneath as she down to retrieve the money she got from her bikini top. Once she pulled out a 5000 yen bill, she turned back to the shopkeeper.

"How about if I pay you extra and—" She blinked as she noticed the shopkeeper's blank smile. Ranma hurriedly buttoned her jacket up again and yelled, "Hey, buddy! Look just take the money and give me whatever chicken you have left!"

As the shopkeeper blinked, he scrambled to say, "Um, uh, I'll see if we have anything left in-in the back," and ran off.

"Freakin' pervs," Ranma muttered, "Times like these, I hate bein' a guy."

The shopkeeper came back five minutes later holding a small cardboard box.

"Um, we only had some of the scrap kara-age chicken left. It's a bit dry, but I gave you extra sauce and lemons." He handed the box to Ranma, "Oh! And I was saving this for myself, but here," he handed Ranma a small bottle of sparkling wine. "Nothing special, but you look like you have a special date tonight."

Ranma nodded, "Yep. Akane'll love this! Thanks, buddy."

"Akane? That's a girly name for your boyfriend."

Ranma gave a light chuckle and said, winking, "That's cause Akane's a girl." For emphasis, she kicked up a leg. "Merry Christmas, pal," Ranma said as she walked out.

The shopkeeper watched her,  readjusting his trousers before locking the door shut for the night.

Ranma ran around the shopping district further, dodging couples, small children, and a dog walker with what seemed like a small army of toy poodles.

"Okay, I got all that date stuff, now I just need a present." Ranma sighed, "What the heck do I even get her? Ain't even 'bout the money this time, just..."

She wandered the shops, growing annoyed there seemed to be mostly restaurants that were still open. Turning a corner, she spied a jewelry store still open. She took a step towards it and stopped.

"Man I don't know the first thing 'bout that stuff. And it ain't like I don't think she'd look nice in some earrings or a necklace, but..." She let out a loud audible sigh of resignation, "Man... I'd need Nabiki or Yuka n' Sayuri at least helpin' my dumb..." Ranma shook her head, "Okay, scratch that, what next?"

She felt like was wandering in circles, finally making it towards the Station itself. Ranma realized there was a whole complex of stores attached to Nerima Station, including a department store.  She bolted for it and snuck in the door in time to hear.

 _"The shops are closing in fifteen minutes, please make your_ _  
_ _final purchase decisions and see a customer representative."_

Ranma sighed. She saw a security guard, a young woman in a uniform and said, "Heya, miss. Can ya watch my crap. I uh, gotta use the toilet. Uh, um, It's that time of the year n' all."  
  
The woman cocked her head slightly and said, "Oh my if you only have them once a year, you must be ill. Yes, of course. Please call an attendant if you need anything else."

Ranma looked a bit confused, biting her lip as she set down her earlier purchases and backed away. She took a calming breath and muttered "Saotome Secret Technique, Maternal Revision!" and sprinted off into the store with enough speed that the security guard stood silent, unsure what she even seen was real, despite her currently holding plastic bags willed with christmas food.

Ranma ran up the three flights of escalators, at first dodging people who were standing to the left side, though there were a few who stood on the right side that Ranma had to dodge.

 _Fuckin' tourists_ she thought as she changed tack and began running up the middle barrier between the up and down escalators to get to the top floor.

Ranma looked around frantic. "Housewares, Gardening, Bedding, Towels... Does Akane need any towels?" Ranma stopped and thought. She remembered the one yellow towel she was holding the first time they met in the bath, the way it contrasted with her midnight blue-black hair and how she held it delicately between her pert breasts and-

Ranma suddenly grabbed her face and yelled, "Stop bein a perv', ya jackass!" to the confusion of nearby haggard sales clerks. Ranma looked around and let out a titter in an overcompensating girlish tone. "Hee hee. Just thinking of somethin' silly. Anywayseeya!"

Ranma ran down to the second floor.

"Okay Activewear, Sports Gear... oh, hey that's a snappy tracksuit. Why don't I get a couple'a these, probably work for both forms and..."

 _"The shops are closing in ten minutes, please make your_ _  
_ _final purchase decisions and see a customer representative."_

Ranma hit the side of her head, "Focus, dumbass! I need somethin' for Akane!"

Ranma ran further into the activewear section, pushing past the sports equipment like cleats, knee and shoulder pads and ended up near the weightlifting, boxing, and martial arts paraphernalia. She tried looking about.

"Nah, we got shinai in the dojo... She don't need a new dougi... Heavy punching bag?" Ranma shook her head, "Enh, kinda hard to giftwrap..."

As she was muttering to herself, looking at different bits of equipment, Ranma noticed something brightly colored in the corner of her vision. It was a pair of fingerless gloves, made of what seemed to be spandex, but with a leather palm. They were heather grey and a dark pink color. Ranma thought it looked like that one blouse Akane wore she liked a lot.

Ranma remembered all of things Akane had used as weapons: bokkens, mallets, pushbrooms, large rocks, bowls of fruit, stone statues, Tatewaki Kunou. Granted most of the time it was to hit Ranma herself, but Ranma had a germ of an idea. She grabbed the gloves and started to head out.

"Not so fast, missy!" a booming voice called. A tall, broad shouldered man stepped out of the aisle about 10 meters in front of her. He wore a plastic engraved nametag like the other employees but otherwise was dressed in an American football player's uniform, complete with shoulder pads and helmet, which had the mall's logo, in garnet, airbrushed on the side.

Ranma stopped and looked on at the huge man in front of her. Craning her neck up she said, "...the hell? Are you an oni under there or somethin'?"

The man roared back in laughter, "HA HA! Good one, missy! No! This is my department and if you want to buy those, you'll have to defeat me in a test of strength!"

Ranma put a hand to her forehead, "Don't you earn a commission on each sale?" she asked in a tense tone of voice, trying hard to modulate her annoyance.

"Yes! And because of this, I live in a boarding house with 10 other men and I haven’t washed the jockstrap of this thing in a month!" the man announced proudly. "But I want to ensure that these goods are only sold to those worthy of using them! Have at me!"  
  
"Dude, did you just say you don't wash your jockstrap!?" Ranma blurted out but then let out an eep as she noticed the man barreling towards her.  On instinct she took a fighting stance, bending her knees and placing her hands in front of her. As he neared, she realized he was taller than she thought, tall enough that, in her fighting stance, her face was a bit too close to this jockstrap area and, at the last moment before he crashed into her, she fell to the side.

The clerk turned back, the store's logo prominently facing Ranma. "Ha! I knew you were a coward you—" The man yelled, though he was interrupted as he ran into the women's dressing room without realizing and crashed inside somewhere to the sounds of a few screams and a female clerk yelling, "Dammit Masahiro, this is the third time this month!"

Ranma stood, waited a beat to see if there were any more surprises and then hot footed it to the first floor.

With about five minutes left, Ranma bought the gloves and had them wrapped up. She picked up her goods from the security guard, who eyes her warily.

"Thanks, miss. Merry Christmas."

"Yes... May you have a happy new year and live a long life," The security guard said.

"Uh... yeah, you too?" Ranma said walking out the door. _Damn, I should never work retail. They're all nuts,_ Ranma thought.

Ranma looked at all her belongings and nodded confidently as she started to walk at a brisk pace up the main drag back towards the Tendo Home.

"Hope Akane likes her gift. Now all I gotta do is get back, take a hot shower, n' then I can—"

Ranma felt something stop her path and, distracted as she was with her thoughts she fell back with an audible, squeaky, "oof!"  Ranma slowly sat up, rubbing her coccyx over her jacket and looked up.

"Hey watch where ya goin', ya...." Ranma trailed off as she saw Akane, in her black winter coat standing there. The bottom of her face was wrapped in a pink scarf.

"Ranma?" Akane asked aloud before she bent over and offered her a hand up.

"Akane..." Ranma felt her legs go weak a bit, holding onto Akane's hand a bit tighter than she meant to as she stood. "Wha-What are ya doin' out here?"

"I could ask the same of you. Last time I saw you, you had on a different outfit and, well, gender."

"I... long story involvin' Nabiki... Can, can we go somewhere? I wanna ask ya somethin'."

Akane nodded, "The park should still be open, though it'll be a bit dark." Akane giggled, "honestly you look... please tell me you're wearing something under that coat. And what's with those shoes? Are those bells?"

Ranma rolled her eyes, "Nabiki's idea, like I said." Ranma let out another squeak as Akane grabbed her wrist and they walked off to the park.

* * *

 

The park was different than Ranma imagined it would be at night. Lights were strung around the larger trees on the inside of the park and there were quite a few lovey dovey couples walking around, taking in the surprisingly scenic patch of greenery. Ranma looked down and realized she was now holding hands with Akane and that they _were_ one of those couples. She audibly gulped.

"Hey Akane, let's talk there, okay?" she asked pointing towards an empty bench. Akane nodded and the two sat down. There was a feeling of quiet Ranma felt and she couldn't help but sneak a glance at Akane before looking out at the park and the brilliance of lights. She noticed that, aside from the trees, there were lightposts decorated with garlands of silver and green tinsel. There was even a vaguely upsetting plastic Santa Statue that was lit up by the park's bathroom.

"Wow, it's pretty out here, isn't it?" Akane asked.

Ranma nodded and turned to look at Akane more directly. _Cuuuuute..._ was her only thought. She looked down at her things and sighed deeply and sadly.

"Ranma? What's wrong?" Akane asked. Ranma felt Akane's hand squeeze hers tightly.

"Akane," Ranma said, slumped, "I'm sorry. When I told ya I had a present, I didn't have anythin'."

Ranma wrapped her free arm around herself. "I was tryin' ta be a big man sayin' I got ya somethin' when I didn't think you were that interested in Christmas. I kinda made an idiot of myself trying ta find ya a present and get a nice night fer ya and all I have ta show for it is half a cake, a box of fried chicken bits and," Ranma looked up at Akane and pointed to herself, "My indecent, runty ass under this coat I had ta buy... Jeez, I can't even be _a guy_ for you on Christmas." Ranma grimaced and closed her eyes waiting for Akane to yell at her. _Just let it happen. You had it comin', anyway._

Ranma blinked her eyes open when instead, she felt Akane's arms around her. "You idiot," she said, though her voice was soft. "When did I say I care about whether you were a guy or a girl? When was the last time I said something bad about that?"

Ranma said, muffled a bit by Akane's jacket, "I 'unno. You used ta call me an okama n' 'girl-boy' n' stuff. I mean even if ya didn't say it, I just thought ya were thinkin' it."

Akane sighed, "I know I'm awful. I've said a lot of bad things, because I was mad... But I've been trying since Jusendo not to. It's not fair to you and all it did was make _me_ more and more angry."

Akane took Ranma's other hand and looked her dead in the eye.

"When were there there at Jusenkyo, after Saffron, you said you didn't care if you got cured... Do you still feel that way?"

Ranma bit her lip, but slowly nodded, leaning her head against Akane's chest.

"Okay, then I'm definitely sorry I called you those things," Akane replied.  "You're an idiot _and_ a glutton _and_ you infuriate me sometimes, but you're not bad or weird because you're both a guy and a girl. Be whatever you want to be, okay. I'm... I wanna support you. I like when you're a guy and you can embrace me in your arms so protectively. But it's nice when you're a girl, too. I don't feel the pressure to have be 'the girl', especially on a day like Christmas when there's so many couples around and the girl is just so dewy-eyed and passive and just... just.. I'm... just not like that. I like being me and sometimes it's nice having my cute girlfriend Ranma by my side."

Ranma felt her cheeks blush as she closed her eyes a bit and muffled into Akane's coat, "Sorry I always got your goat by sayin’ ya weren't a cute normal girl. You're good like you are too, okay? When you're mad at me and annoyed cause I did somethin' dumb it's... it's, like, kinda cute in its own way? Like it's cute how uncute you can be," Ranma paused, "That don't make much sense, does it?"

Akane responded by reaching down and pinching Ranma's butt.

"Eeep! I take it back, you're sooo not cute!" Ranma cried out, pouting at Akane.

Akane stuck out her tongue, "I can't help it. You're too fun to tease, you know." Akane grabbed Ranma's wrist, "Come on! Let's go to karaoke! I like your girl side's singing better, anyway!"

Ranma and Akane were led to a small karaoke box. True to the season, the room was decorated with garlands and tinsel. There was a wreath on the door and, above the small couch in front of the TV and karaoke console, there was a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling.

Using the phone in the room, Akane called the desk.

"Yes, Two green teas when you can. I know it's busy tonight. Thanks!"

Ranma, meanwhile, set her stuff on the table. Once Akane set down the phone, Ranma spoke.

"Hey, uh, I dunno if this is the right time fer it, but here's your present, Akane." She reached out and handed akane the small wrapped parcel.

Akane opened it and looked at the gloves.

"I-I was thinkin' ya used a lot of weapons when ya fought and like, buildin' callouses is good, but when you were doin' weight training er breakin' bricks, maybe it's be good take make sure ya didn't get cut or hurt or nothin'... sorry it ain't somethin' fancier, I was only thinkin' what you'd get some use out of and I know you got a shirt that color and I hadta fight some gross dude for em and—" Ranma felt Akane's arms wrap around her.

"That was very thoughtful of you. I like them a lot! Thank you, Ranma." Akane let go of the embrace.

"I got you something too, well us, but thinking about you made me think of it!" It was Akane's turn to blush and ramble. "You know, as cute as it is that you're a boy and a girl, it makes you kind of hard to shop for... But that got me thinking."

Akane reached into her coat and pulled out a small box from an inner pocket. "I mean I was thinking of things i could get you that wouldn't be weird in either form and thought of jewelry. You don't wear earrings and rings would either fall off or be too tight. So, I got you a necklace."

Opening the box, she showed Ranma the necklace. It was a simple leather strap with a pendant. The pendant was cast in silver, but inlaid in onyx and white opal, was a yin-yang symbol.

Ranma took the necklace out of the box and examined it.

"I chose leather because I thought it's be more waterproof and could probably hold up in a fight better than if it was silver or some cheap metal you could get a skin rash from."

Ranma nodded. "The symbol is a bit on the nose Akane," she said laughing as she put it on, "But it's nice. It kinda sums me up, I guess." She noticed Akane's face light up and smile and Ranma felt a bit lightheaded seeing Akane look at her that way.

Ranma tucked the pendant under her coat. "I might hafta hide it under my clothes so Pops doesn't try hocking it in my sleep." Ranma chuckled. "Hey, uh, why don't sing a couple of songs and stuff?"

Akane nodded and opened one of the karaoke books and started punching in several codes on the machine. After about five minutes, Akane announced, "Okay Ranma, I loaded up a bunch of songs, why don't you start this one?" She handed Ranma a microphone.

"Will I know it?" Ranma asked.

"Probably, but it's karaoke. Just fake it!"

As soon as the first few measures of the synthesized keyboard played, it was immediately obvious it was a song Ranma had heard about two hours ago in the shopping district. Ranma groaned. "Ain't "Last Christmas" a bit played out?"

"Oh, it's only once a year, dummy! Just sing!" Akane yelled over the starting chorus.

Ranma groaned and began the first verse.

 _Once bitten and twice shy_  
_I keep my distance_  
_But you still catch my eye_  
_Tell me, baby_  
_Do you recognize me?_  
_Well, it's been a year_ _  
_ It doesn't surprise me

Ranma, in a playful fit of pique, bent down and kissed Akane on the nose before continuing.

 _(Merry Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it_  
_With a note saying, "I love you, " I meant it_  
_Now, I know what a fool I've been_  
_But if you kissed me now_ _  
_ I know you'd fool me again

Akane stood and took the mic from Ranma to sing the next verse.

 _A crowded room, friends with tired eyes_  
_I'm hiding from you, and your soul of ice_  
_My god, I thought you were someone to rely on_  
_Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on_  
_A face on a lover with a fire in his heart_  
_A man under cover but you tore me apart_ _  
_ Now, I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

Ranma leaned in close to Akane and sang the last refrain of the chorus:

 _Last Christmas, I gave you my heart_  
_But the very next day you gave it away_  
_This year, to save me from tears_ _  
_ I'll give it to someone special

Akane set the mic down and gave Ranma hug. They stood there for a while as the song faded out. After a few moments Akane stood and finally took off her jacket. "Ooh, it's stuffy in here. Aren't you warm?"

Ranma began to blush, "Nah, I-I'm good. Not too warm at—Ranma paused as Akane began to unbutton her coat, "No wait! What're ya doin'?"

"What are you hiding Ranma?" Akane asked, her voice a bit playful.

"Please, look, it was Nabiki's idea! I hadta do a part time job for her and then my clothes got caught in the fire and rioting so..." Akane squeaked as Akane opened up her coat, revealing her outfit of bows, only slightly crushed by the coat.

"Well, this is unfair," Akane said, her mouth going a bit dry, "I only got you one present."

Ranma gulped, "Uh... M-m-merry Christmas?"

Akane reached over and pulled at the bow on Ranma's chest.

"Akane, noooo~" Ranma screamed as the ribbons, as well as Ranma's bikini top, fell onto the floor. Just then there was a quick knock before the door opened.

"Excuse me, you ordered some—oh wow!" The clerk at the karaoke parlor's face grew red and a faint trickle of blood came out of his nose.  
  
"Thank you!" Akane ran, grabbed their drinks and pushed the clerk out of the room. "She's my girl, creep!" Akane yelled after the fact.  Ranma stood there, stunned, until Akane came back, set the drinks down at the side table and laughed.

Akane moved close and gave Ranma a deep kiss as the karaoke version of Tatsushiro Yamashita's "Christmas Eve" played on, unsung for the moment.

 

* * *

 

 

A week later, Akane stood from the table, tucking her legs out of the kotatsu. Nabiki, seated next to her and counting a wad of bills, looked up at her sister.

"Hey Akane, the New Year's TV specials are starting. Are you gonna watch?"

Akane shook her head. "Nah, it's okay. I'm gonna go check on Ranma."

"You always did enjoy playing with your presents."

"Well, I'm grateful to Santa, that's all." Akane quipped as she grabbed a few tangerines from the table before walking upstairs to the guest room. She picked up a facemask and put it on before entering.

"You awake, Ranma?"

"Ugggggh," Ranma eked out in a low, raspy voice. There was a cooling pad on his head and the rest of his body was under tucked covers.

"Aww, you were out in the cold too long without enough clothing, you poor thing," Akane chuckled as she patted his head. "I can make you rice porridge if you want Ranma!"

Ranma audibly gulped, "Uhhhh... not hungry."

"Oh well I'll just tell Kasumi you're too sick to have any of the Osechi food, too."

Ranma sat up quickly, holding his head dizzily, "No fair! Why're you so mean?"

Akane dropped a tangerine on his head. As Ranma flinched and picked up the piece of fruit after it fell onto his blanket. Akane pulled down her facemask and kissed Ranma on his cheek while he was distracted.

"Because you're too much fun to tease. Don't worry, Ranma. Kasumi made you some porridge already."

Ranma relaxed and sighed, "So _not_ cute... Givin' me a heart attack when I'm already sick. I hope you appreciated me sacrificin' my health for you. I even gave ya a free show without meanin' ta."

Akane laughed, "Well when you get better, I'd love a sequel. Boy this time, if you want."

Ranma felt dizzy again and blamed it on the fever. "Maybe..." He gripped the yin-yang symbol pendant on his necklace... "Well... wh-when do I get a show, tomboy?"

"Oh, I thought you didn't want me to give you a heart attack?" Akane moved to straddle Ranma's lap. Ranma's eyes widened and he felt as though steam was escaping his ears and he fell back, dizzy.

"Okay, I'll try again when you feel better." She leaned down and gave him a hug. "Thanks for the gift, Ranma. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year."

Ranma nodded weakly. Next year was gonna be weird.

THE END


End file.
